“Don’t celebrate closing a sale, celebrate opening a relationship.” — Patricia Fripp
When life is the toughest for yourself or others here are a few “be’s”. If you want to know how to connect with other people, these are central:
“Be sincere”. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Genuinely go out of your way to lift someone by finding something constructive that you can say to lift them and encourage them. Be a people builder and you will find that you build yourself. I like to make it a game to find something I can say to encourage someone who perhaps hasn’t had a lot of positive in their life.
“Be positive” There is enough negativity in life without me being part of the problem. Learn to be part of the solution. Learn to see the good in every circumstance. Like an inventor said when his lab burned down “well our failures have been eliminated!” Even in the worst challenges of my life there have been blessings that were only discovered later.
“Be cheerful”. “A joyful spirit doeth good like a medicine” is an old proverb and is still true today. Do you light up a room when you walk in or do you bring storm clouds? Are you the life of the party by making everyone else feel wonderful or do you go to the party to be lifted?
“Be Interesting.” People like to be around interesting people. They like to learn from them. The last thing you want to be if you want to lead is to be boring. People’s eyes rolling back in their heads is a sign that you need to kick it up a notch. Read good books, stay on top of the news, and learn new things. That will help you be interesting and develop your conversational skills. But there is something even more important – the next “Be.”
“Be Interested.” More than wanting to talk about you, talk about the other person. Be interested in who they are, what they do, and what they like. That will endear them to you and attract them to you. People want to know that you care about them and their needs. The next time you are around someone you lead, spend the time focusing on them and see the magic that happens with your personal leadership!
“Be truthful.” Leadership is about being truthful. This doesn’t mean that I spill all my challenges on others or hit them with my “stuff”, but it does mean that as I am transparent with others, they can see me as a human being just like them. It isn’t about superiority, but about humanness. We are all on a journey to become all that we can be and we all need each other.
“Be grateful” Counting and sharing your blessings is a wonderful way to rehearse the goodness in your life. The more grateful you are for who, what and where you are, the more you open up new possibilities for yourself and others. Being grateful focuses on the positives in our lives and brings us joy and contentment and is a blessing to others as we talk about the “good stuff”.
“Be gracious” It is always a pleasure to have people around who are willing to give others the credit and acknowledge who and what others have done for them in their lives. When you acknowledge others you bring accolades that one day can be boomeranged to you. When you are appreciative you release the desire in others to do more for you.
“Be brief” – No one likes to talk to someone who does all the talking. Ask questions… the person doing all the talking is not learning anything new…. They are only telling what they already know. Questions are a wonderful way to keep the conversation going and to make someone feel really important because you want to know what they know.
Action Point: Think of someone that would be uplifted right now if they received a positive affirmation thought from you. Perhaps it could be your boss or your partner, your child or your parent or your neighbour or a friend. Tell them today how much you appreciate them and why. Be specific. Go ahead, right now. Pick up the phone, or email them. Do whatever you need to do to get to them right now. Start the gift of “pass it on” happy life enriching thoughts by finding at least three people by the end of the day. Let’s let some real positive thought power loose – the power of projected happiness!
